Silently Picking Through Dirt
by Thinkette
Summary: His tongue swept over my own and he sucked on my lower lip, bringing me closer, kissing me deeper. We did this every damn time we landed ourselves in the infirmary. Every single time we had a scare involving the others survival. Warning, utter fluff!


The mission was a failure. I had never gone on a mission that was that much of a failure. Chouji cradled Shikamaru's bobbing head with his strong arms, moving quickly. Rock Lee held Neji, as he had a broken leg. I saw Naruto carrying both Hinata and Kiba, and Sakura supported TenTen. Our group consisted of all of the Konoha 12, with me filling in for Sasuke. For the most part, we were alright. Ino was bleeding out like crazy all over me though, and there was only so much Sakura could do when she herself had a broken arm and a sprained ankle. She was practically traveling on one foot, ready to help after she had a soldier pill.

Of the group, Hinata, Ino, and Shikamaru were the worst off, Shino was a close second, being carried by his bugs. All of us had some explaining to do, but I had never been so relieved when I saw the familiar Konoha gates. An ambush. Yeah, a massacre more like it. The entire village we had to protect was dead. Every last woman and child were slaughtered.

All the civilians saw us and moved aside. Loud talk echoed around us. Suddenly, I saw Kurenai, Kakashi and Guy jump from the crowd looking horrified. Instantly, Kurenai grabbed hold of Hinata and Kiba from Naruto, while Kakashi grabbed Shino who lost control of his bugs at the last moment. He scooped up Shikamaru's broken frame and Guy took hold of Neji and TenTen, easily grabbing Ino as well. They made off to the hospital faster than we could have and the better suited of us hobbled off. They were no doubt going into the Intensive Care Unit, where Shizune and Tsunade would take care of them.

We would all be looked at by less advanced medics and allowed to either help or stay outside their doors. I saw Chouji's arms shaking, looking at the bloody stains his friend left on his armor.

The parents came. Yoshino was the first to grab onto me and shove me to the hospital. Her face was set tightly, hard as a rock as she effortlessly grabbed me and managed to drag me off. Shikaku hauled up Sakura, ignoring her protests and Naruto, who was far too worn to say anything else. Chouji was helped by his own father, and Inoichi helped Rock Lee, with his three cracked ribs. Most of us, who were usually stubborn, quickly quieted when the elder shinobi held us. Yoshino and Shikaku, well trained ninja with medical knowledge looked at us once we were in the largest room.

We were all in a row, like dolls. There was Sakura off at the end, first to be examined so she could help. Past her, Naruto, Rock Lee, Chouji, and finally me. I watched as Yoshino confirmed that Sakura had a twisted ankle, a fractured wrist, chakra depletion and mild blood loss. She gave the girl a soldier pill and got to work on healing her. Shikaku, meanwhile, confirmed that Naruto had two broken ribs and lacerations all over his arms and belly. He had massive blood loss and a slight concussion. Chouji had a clean cut through his belly, deep lacerations over his torso and upper arms. His blood loss was the worst of us all. Sakura looked at Rock Lee, finally healed and in a grave voice confirmed that he had three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and moderate blood loss.

At every diagnosis, I cringed. My world faded out at random intervals but then I saw Yoshino. Her eyes were full of worry though her jaw was set. She told the room that the bones of my left arm were entirely shattered. I had five fractured ribs, was bleeding from my temple and suffered from mild blood loss. She looked at us and knew we were the lucky ones.

Yoshino was not a stupid woman. In fact, she was possibly the smartest woman I had ever known, easily surpassing myself, Tsunade, Sakura, and Hinata. She saw that her son was not there and I noticed how it took all her willpower not to crumple to the floor and cry for her baby.

Her dry voice spoke through the room as we were healed. "Who was the worst off?"

No one really wanted to answer. The battle had been bloody. We were lucky that Ino wasn't dead. She had been practically snapped in half as her thin frame had taken a direct blow from a mace the size of a boss summon. Hinata had nearly had her limbs cleaved off, her lacerations were so great that she could have filled buckets with her blood. And Shikamaru had his leg bones completely decimated, taking the full brunt of the same mace Ino was hit by. Unlike Hinata, who could not move after she had her leg cut to the bone and was useless in long range, Shikamaru stayed at the floor and directed his shadow over the enemies. The army of at least 40 shinobi had been particularly bloodthirsty, and when they realized that he wasn't down for the count, it became three against one. At that point, Ino lay crumpled on the ground, thoroughly broken and TenTen had her arm swinging uselessly at her side. Neji was being decimated by jutsus left and right. There were exactly 6 of us on the ground, half useless. Shino was unable to move and used just his bugs to attack while his teammate was without his dog, and was relying on his earth style jutsus to keep them at bay. I ran to Shikamaru to cover him but the earth style shinobi made rock encompass his fist and crushed him.

Everything was so bloody. Wind and water, fire and earth flew past us. Shikamaru became completely unconscious then, losing all control he had on the 10 or so remaining shinobi. Sakura, TenTen, Rock Lee, Naruto, Chouji and I were the last ones standing. TenTen took up camp in front of Neji and Rock Lee covered Kiba. Sakura held her own in front of Shino while Chouji covered Ino and Naruto protected Hinata. Naruto mixed his wind with her water to ward off the majority of them while I sent gust after gust of wind with my right arm, cursing Shikamaru because I could use his affinity for fire at that point. Ino had passed out and another ninja got a good hit in with TenTen, who crumpled to the ground, uselessly. By the time the fighting was done, Sakura had hobble to the others to check their conditions, and we quickly put up plans on how to transport the others. I hauled Ino up onto my good arm and sealed my tessen off in a scroll so I could keep it.

I looked at Yoshino then and she was biting her lip incredibly hard. No one had answered her, so she knew her son was worse for wear. It wasn't like he was her little baby anymore, at 22 years old, he was an adult. Still, Yoshino could not have liked the feeling that her only son was in critical condition. Suddenly, Shizune burst into the room, frantic expression on her face.

"We need all medical personnel on hand now! Four of the seven patients are dying!"

Yoshino was the first out the door. Shikaku followed quickly after her and Sakura was hot on his heals. I ran after them, struggling to get to the others.

Perhaps it's a bit selfish, and maybe a bit cruel as well, but I could live peacefully if they all died. All of them but Shikamaru. I had friends in Suna, I had loyal, loving friends, ones I'd known since academy days, but I had only one lover, and he was in the Intensive Care Unit. Not even hell could have stopped me from going to him.

Yoshino burst through a random door and she got Shikamaru's on the first try. She gave a cry and fell to her knees at the sight of him. Even I had to stop. The skin of his torso was peeled back to reveal the ripe red insides of his vital organs. The ribs surrounding them seemed to have been fragmented. Everything from his bellybutton down seemed to be completely pulverized. I shook at the door, not trusting my legs to support me.

Tsunade herself was working on him. She barked at me to tell her what happened.

"Earth….earth jutsu…hit twice…he was…he was on the floor."

Tsunade cursed. "Shit! If he's alive after this, he must have some kind of perseverance. Everything's stopped working. How long did it take you to get back here?"

"T-ten minutes…."

"Thank Kami, I can still revive him. He's in for one hell of a recovery period."

I looked at him again, memorizing his flattened body. The image burned into my mind. His arms were broken badly, lying crushed but still attached at his sides. The inside of him looked like absolute mush, but his face was perfect, his hair burnt at the ends and framing his pale visage. I looked down his body. His legs were practically beyond all help. Tsunade could save his life, but he could be crippled, he could be mentally disabled with all that time without oxygen to his brain. The CPR I gave him was all I was praying on, that fruitless CPR. I winced when I hit his crushed pelvis and finally started to shake badly enough so that the ground rushed up to meet me.

I had seen my fair share of mangled bodies, but nothing was worse than seeing his. Yoshino was sobbing on the floor and Inoichi ran in and scooped up the puddle she became, while he was at it, he grabbed my boneless frame and pulled us from the rooms. Yoshino could not do anything to help the other patients, but Inoichi told her soothingly that Sakura was with Shino, Shizune was with Hinata, and Shikaku was attending to Ino. His voice shook when he uttered his daughter's name, but I could see in his eyes that he trusted no medic more than his friend with his daughter. Yoshino simply continued to sob, her heart breaking visibly.

Inoichi held her like she was his fallen sister, and then, suddenly, he engulfed me as well and the sharp pain that shot up my body was like a reminder. I was alive. I'd be damned if he wasn't as well. I looked down at the wedding ring around my neck. I wore it in a chain so nothing interfered with my hands and I clutched it so tightly that my knuckles were white. Just last year. One, measly, tiny year.

Oh, it was not enough.

I camped out, and even when Yoshino slept, tears staining her face, I stayed awake. I remembered every moment we had, everything he said to me. Our nicknames for each other (Troublesome, Cactus, Woman. Lazybones, Crybaby, Pineapple Head.) Every moment I was infuriated by him and every second he made me curl my toes in bliss. I remembered the first time we had sex, all our kisses, every promise he made me, every secret he told me, every tear he shed when I lay bare on a hospital bed, half dead. I remembered every time we held hands, every order we barked at one another. I remembered when I realized there was more to him than I thought. I remembered my first orgasm with him, I remembered his lazy smiles, his careful caresses, his forceful arguments, his incredible intelligence.

I was silent. While Yoshino was sobbing her love out for her son, I kept my lips pursed and my eyes set straight ahead. I had never blatantly broken down, a few stray tears have occurred, but never breaking.

I loved him so goddamn much. I never said it, and I almost regretted it. What if he really did die? What if he does so not knowing how damn much I really care about him? If the last instant burned into my brain was that of him lying dead, bloody and crushed on a white bed I'd go absolutely insane.

So, exactly 29 hours after we brought them in, Shino was said to be stable. 34, Hinata. 46, Ino.

Exactly 68 hours after we brought them, Tsunade came in, weary from her soldier pills and her work, and told us that Shikamaru would live unperturbed. She could supply enough oxygen to save his brain, she regenerated his body. The bones were currently being remade by other medics and surgically placed into him with the bits they had. His legs, which were beyond salvation, were replaced with metal fashioned into his skeletal structure. I saw Yoshino fall to her knees and actually hug Tsunade around her legs. The blond would have none of it, and hauled the dark haired woman up by her arms, quickly whisking her away to piece back her fighting spirit with her husband.

And I, I waited. When the last medic left, it was black outside. Nonetheless, I opened his door and walked in. The sheets were still bloody, still covered in what he lost but there he was, my husband. He was alive, his chest rising and falling, the entirety of his body covered in gauze but he still gave me a smirk.

"Tem…nice of you to join me. I appreciate the company." I just nodded solemnly, sat in a chair close to him. His face remained placid. "You can climb in the bed if you want. I know it's pretty gross, but still."

I climbed in the bed. I felt the dried blood on my legs but I got in the bed and quickly hugged him to me. I had been healed, my body perfectly fine but he let out a sharp groan. I didn't care, only grabbed his face and kissed him as hard as I could, trying to prove to myself that he was tangible, real. He let me, wrapping his healed arms around my body. It was his legs that would need training and physical therapy.

"I'm going to beat you black, blue, and bloody for giving me that scare."

"You sure give Tsunade a reason to stay in her line of work, woman." He said, smirking wide. I looked at his face, miraculously in one piece, though bruised in various places. His sharp eyes memorized my own as they did every time we were close and I tangled my fingers in his loose hair.

"You ass. You could have died."

"I'm alive now, troublesome woman. Can't you just hug me like a compliant wife?"

I tugged on his hair hard and elicited a groan from him. "Of course not. You'd get bored of me all too quickly if I did that."

"Oh, to have a normal life again."

I leaned in close to him and saw his eyes glint. "I make it interesting." I whispered, a hairsbreadth away from his lips.

"No, you troublesome woman, you make it worthwhile." He said, inclining his head to meet my lips in the middle, clutching me close to his body. His tongue swept over my own and he sucked on my lower lip, bringing me closer, kissing me deeper. We did this every damn time we landed ourselves in the infirmary. Every single time we had a scare involving the other's survival, we would sleep in the same bed and just confirm to the other that we were there and real.

I don't know how long he excavated my mouth but eventually, my neck was covered in his teeth marks and he uttered a breathless "Temari" into my collarbones, making me say "Shikamaru" back in the same voice. I clutched his hair and we curled up around one another, allowing sleep to finally overcome us. When I woke up, Yoshino and Shikaku were walking through the door, coming to visit their only son. I quickly sat up just as I saw Shikaku smirking at me, that same infuriating smirk that his son inherited as well.

"Well, well, well." His deep voice rumbled. "Look at that, Yoshino. Goldilocks found a bed that was just right."

I flushed in mild irritation but smiled slightly when I heard Yoshino's tinkling laugh. The woman was so distraught, she deserved some happiness and conformation that everything was okay. I shook my head and began to tug Shikamaru awake, careful to remain in the shoulder area so as not to disturb his more injured pieces. He groaned and cracked open one eye. Seeing me, he let out the tiniest of smiles. "Morning." He said, and of course, being the lazy ass that he is, he didn't even bother looking around the room when he snaked his hands up and pulled me to meet his mouth again.

"Oi! You should have had plenty of that last night." Shikaku said, grinning.

Quickly, I pulled away from him and glared, managing to smack him on the side of the head. I hate public displays of affection and doing so in front of his parents was enough to make me irritated. Looking down at his face though, I felt my eyes soften slightly and I just sighed.

"Lazybones, your parents are here."

"You don't say." He replies, completely sarcastic as usual. "I hadn't noticed." He said, but smirked and swiveled his head to meet his parents. Yoshino seemed to wobble a bit, the smile on her face wavering. Shikaku wrapped a strong arm around her, supporting her against his own body.

"You're alive…."

"Yeah…at least, last I checked I was." Yoshino glared and seemed to collect her resolve. Shikaku released her and the woman stomped forward, quickly grasping her son by the ear and tugging him to her face.

"How dare you give me a scare like that? I am your mother! If you had died, I'd reincarnate you just to kill you myself!" She said and tears collected at the edges of her eyes, squinted angrily at him.

"M-mom! Come on! No need to be troubles-" I slapped my hand down on his mouth. Just now, I noticed how swollen his thin lips were from what happened last night and if I had decency, I would have blushed.

It's a good thing I have no decency.

I glared at him and he resolved to his fate of having two troublesome women glaring at him. Quickly, he figured that the best plan of action was to be compliant and to tread carefully.

"You stupid, stupid boy!"

"Yes ma'am."

"You could have died! You almost did! DO YOU KNOW THAT?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Well, don't you feel lucky? Thank Kami-sama that we have Lady Tsunade, or else you'd never see daylight again! Don't you feel lucky?"

"Yes ma'am."

"UGH!" Yoshino said, exasperated and threw her hands up in the air. I saw the dark bruise forming on Shikamaru's outer ear. He winced and then looked at me expectantly. I knew he was awaiting my own lecture, but I smirked and spat out an "I'm not going to kiss it better." Just to get a rile out of him. He leered at me, his tapered eyes focusing on mine for the barest of moments before he replied back with "That isn't what you said last night. In fact, I believe the exact words were that you WERE going to kiss it better." He said, gesturing to his lower body. I flushed in embarrassment and smacked him hard on the back of his head.

"Ow! You troublesome woman, I meant my legs!"

"Sure you did!" I huffed, crossing my arms and glaring at him.

"Oi, I'm an invalid. You can't go around assaulting cripples."

"You aren't a cripple." I said, suddenly quiet. It was what I feared, him being a cripple, never able to accomplish all he could. At my tone, his teasing stopped and he wrapped an arm around me, nodding once.

"You're right, I'm not a cripple. But this does give me an excuse to be lazy."

I gave him a weak slap on the arm to which he only responded with the barest smile at me. Shikaku cleared his throat and we both turned to them. Yoshino's face had brightened up a bit.

"I'm….I'm glad to see my son with a woman who obviously loves him so deeply." She said, twinkling eyes flaring at me. Shikaku nodded, and as I opened my mouth to retort, they turned and walked out, his arm firmly around her waist. Shikamaru simply shook his head and I looked at him, the light hitting his face. I was overcome by just how close he really did come to dying. Normally, I gave him a few choice words but I couldn't bring myself to do it, instead, hugging him closely to my own prone body. I watched as he rested his head on my breasts, feeling the rhythmic pumping of my heart. I laid a hand over his bandaged chest and realized that he was altering his breathing so the two of us beat at the same time.

His eyes were closed, his entire form relaxed. I looked up at the ceiling, smile on my face. I realized then, we never told the other we loved them, but this was the closest he'd ever come to admitting he yearned to be whole with me, and that only with me can he be complete. At the thought of that, I realized that it was always me who pushed the relationship onward, but him who really kept it alive. I never tell him I love him because he would laugh and tell me he already knows. Instead, I stroked his hair. His face looked towards the ceiling same as mine.

Hid breath hitched, just once as he tried to move his leg into a more comfortable position. Smiling, I did the same so we were on the same rhythmic path, and though we said nothing, he smiled, eyes still closed and rested his hands, warm and strong on my thighs, which were on either side of him as I sat.

He knew that I loved him. He knew just how much as well, after all, he was a genius. So why should we tell the other something so obvious? It also went without saying that he would continue to be a shinobi, continue to get better. He'd train his legs and become more than he was before for the sake of the family we want to have. For my sake. I looked down then, noticing how my wedding ring was tangled with his hair. He was breathing deeply, a sure sign that he was asleep, and because I followed his breathing to keep our heartbeats the same, I was too and I felt more relaxed than I had in years.

I moved to untangle the ring from his hair and he stirred as the hand on his chest began to lift. I smirked, laying it back down and leaning against the headboard.

That lazyass, even if I did move, I'd always be there in the end, right there with him.

* * *

**THE FLUFF! Oh my god, it could eat you alive. What have I unleashed upon the world? Well...So I found this, lying old and dusty in a decrepit notebook and edited and brought on here. Voila! Insta-cavities!  
**


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